Today I get off work early, at around 1:00. I usually do on Fridays. What’s funny is how Fridays often turn into the longest feeling day of the week. This particular Friday, however, I’m not especially looking forward to the weekend. Usually I’m aching to get out of here and go get a pedicure or eat lunch with my mom. Today, I want out of work, but I have no particular place to go and no one to do anything with—for the entire weekend. I’m one of those people who don’t have a lot of very close friends with whom I feel comfortable enough to just call up an and invite them to do something. It’s kind of silly really because if some random acquaintance of mine called me up today to go see a movie tonight, that random person would just have totally made my day. So why can’t I do that? Eh.
Normally, I do have company. I’m not a total loner or anything; I just tend to hang out with the same people most of the time. I’m very family oriented, so spending an entire Saturday with my mom sounds like a perfect way to spend a day. That being the case, my mom… and dad are out of town for another week. While I have a fun significant other, Jason, with whom one would assume I could spend all my empty time, he is and has been unavailable on the weekends because of a class. Then there is my best friend, who is always lots of fun no matter what the plans are, but she is most likely getting tired of me. :) She was kind enough to “baby-sit” me the other night, when my roomie/husband was out of town. So I’ve opted not to hit her up to entertain me this weekend. I have a few other close friends, but as the victims of Oklahoma’s mismanaged economy and poor job outlook they all moved away to seek out better fortunes for themselves and their families.
There have been several times in my life where I find myself, not friendless, but lonely. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how many times those periods of time were 99% self-inflicted. I’m contemplative by nature, so not having plans or anyone to answer to often generates a sense of freedom in me. In other words, this alone-ness isn’t totally without its perks, however self-indulgent they might seem.
So, here I am trying to prepare myself for a weekend of relative loneliness. I don’t mean that in a “poor me” sort of way, but in more of a “this is who I am, so this is how it is” sort of way. It’s just kind of an interesting study into what different people will live with based on their personalities. I have no problem hanging out by myself; it just gets old after a few weeks. :(
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