T.V. sucks

I’m a little behind the times. I don’t watch T.V., mainly movies. About a year ago I discovered television shows on DVD. This is, in my humble opinion, one of mankind’s greater achievements. It’s TV for the movie lover! I’m sure you may be wondering, why I don’t watch regular TV.
There are, in fact, three reasons:
1. I don’t make appointments with my blender, why would I with my television?
2. I dislike waiting 6 months for some lame conclusion to a lame cliffhanger. Waiting for the following DVD to arrive in the mail is suspense enough for me.
3. I tend to rent things I wouldn’t normally think to watch on TV or am normally unable to watch because they are on a premium cable channel I don’t have.
As much as I try, I just can’t seem to make it on time to watch a show I would ordinarily love. I blame the networks and their time slots. You’ll notice that they never give a fresh, innovative show a premium time slot, like Monday or Thursday nights. Those times are reserved for tired sitcoms, more God forsaken CSI spin offs or pathetic remakes of British comedic brilliance. They set some of the best new shows up in times that set those shows up for failure. Arrested Development airs on Sunday evenings and I’ve never caught an entire show, yet I am currently drooling for the second season to be released on DVD—I love it. Freaks and Geeks, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen was cancelled after one season and when was it on? Oh, could it have been on Saturday evenings when most people were at the movies or at a friend’s house? That show as well as its casting was fresh, funny, poignant, intriguing and uniquely American, but alas, it got the bleeding axe.
Then there are the inspired programs on cable channels that somehow endure. A little advice to all you atypical television show creators… get your show on cable, so it has a snow cone’s chance of lasting more than one season. Plus, you have more creative license with the FCC focusing its fiery eye on the major networks.
So I’ve decided that all good TV shows get cancelled early on. It’s always the so-so ones or ones that milk only one story line that live on forever and go out in a blaze of well-advertised glory. We are all so dumb that we don’t even notice that these networks are making a major fuss over the end of a lame show. Take Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, or Frasier for example. All had their glory days, but all went on far too long, and stopped being interesting about four seasons before the end. This is what a handy little website called Jumptheshark.com calls, “jumping the shark.” It means a show can end at different time for different people, but in the case of most NBC shows (for example), they end in our minds long before they even consider wrapping things up.
I know I know there are exceptions to the rule. Lost is a brilliant show that seems to be sticking around (note it’s time slot on Wednesdays), but just because twists and intrigue are so en vogue right now with every “Britney” declaring a Forensic Science major doesn’t mean that should dictate what creative work has a medium and what doesn’t.
Thank God for public television.