Congratulations, it’s a…

Today was our 18 week ultrasound.

For those of you who actually read this and didn’t already know, I am pregnant again. This whole pregnancy has gone by so fast and so far, has been the easiest one of my life. Yeah! Well, the time has arrived for the dreaded anatomy ultrasound (the one where most people get all excited about finding out their baby’s gender).

I hate this test because they check for all kinds of abnormalities and problems too. It makes me so nervous that today; I actually broke out in hives for the first time in my entire life! My chest looked like I had poorly sprayed sunblock on it then spent the entire day in the Egyptian desert—a blotchy red mess! I only noticed it this morning. As soon as we left the OB’s office and sat down to breakfast, I realized that my chest was clear again. What the heck was that about!? I don’t think that even happened to me the last time I had this ultrasound with my son. Wow, my anxiety must have been off the charts today.

From what the ultrasound tech told us, our newest addition looks normal and healthy. I couldn’t ask for much more than that. Oh, except to know the gender maybe. This is where it gets fun. First of all, "Number 2" (what we call this baby) was not feeling particularly cooperative today in this area. He/She kept it's hand over the parts we needed to see. The Tech could not get a clear picture until after I emptied my "full bladder" and did a few jumping jacks. I was stopped just short of doing a handstand. Long story short, Number 2 finally cooperated after that.

Believe it or not, we (being Jason and I) never even intended to find out the gender today. I find the test too stressful to enjoy that particular moment lying on my back with gunk on my swollen belly. We asked the tech to put the photo of the gender parts (nice term, huh?) in an envelope along with a copy of a flashcard we’ve been using to teach Jager the words, “boy” and “girl.” We asked her to toss the superfluous card and seal up the envelope for us to open later. We are going on vacation to Disney World in May so we thought it would fun to have Jager open it there somewhere and hope he’ll pull the flashcard and announce the gender of his first sibling to us. I know, I know we are totally cheesy parents, but everyone likes to have a fun story attached to their beginnings. For example: I am often reminded on my birthdays that I was “created” in a VW bus while on safari in Krugerland. Gross yes, fun… well, yes. I spare my offspring the dirty details of that very special… moment and simply make a big deal out of discovering a big part of who they are.

As the carrier of this child, I do have my feelings about what he/she is, but I’m keeping them to myself for now. I’ll let everyone know what it is when we find out. Until then, let’s keep it neutral, okay? :)

Revised Church of Oprah

Poor Oprah. How confusing her spiritual life must be. To so believe the lie that we are inherently God-like (in terms of our power and metaphysical makeup) that one feels they have to create spiritual truth as they go along must be totally exhausting.

I have no problem with the acknowledgement of our unique and powerful nature as human beings in the spiritual realm… even the Bible illustrates this in the first chapter of the first book. In the end, we are the creations of a most high God who, however much we might despise the fact, is a greater power over us (even though we might be elevated to god-like status in earthly terms). No matter who we are or what we’ve achieved, we must all one day deal with the reality that without God, we are as insignificant as dust in the desert and far more finite.

We can’t decide what we are anymore than we can decide who our unborn children are or will be. It’s all a silly, pointless, pseudo-philosophical guessing game without God or His Word in the equation. Only God’s Word can guide us to the real ultimate truth—that we were created by a far greater power (whom many call God) for reasons not completely known. We are designed to need Him and He has longed for us since the beginning of time. It’s not about power in God’s eyes; it’s about Love and always has been. God created us out of love, he set us up in this world out of love and humbled Himself to become our savior out of love and we can rest assured that his plan of redemption and peace for us is not over yet because he loves us more than we could ever love him back.

Oprah (and others), you don’t have to be equal to God, and you don’t have to negate God or Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to have strength. You seem like a searcher and I doubt you’ve reached your ultimate conclusion on this subject. May God gently reveal His true nature to you that you may experience the only peace there is to be had in this world—the assurance of the love of God for you. You never walk alone. Even in your doubt, as epic as it may be, God is there.