Before and After: It Is Time part #2

After much debate about whether or not I, a mother, should get tattooed... again. I finally just decided to ignore the protests and just do whatever I wanted to do in the first place.

The next battle was with myself. I kept going back and forth between the basic concept of how I would modify my existing tattoo (my starting point) and how I would pay homage to my sister at the same time.

Finally, after consulting with Dave Bruehl, the tattooist I eventually chose, I decided to go back to my first and probably purest thought. He took my few requirements and drew exactly what I had envisioned in the beginning--a beautiful representation of my sister's tattoo encircled by the most organic looking tattooed wings I've ever seen. Since I wasn't too thrilled about the traditional halo concept for a memorial tattoo, we opted for a sunset colored crown of light eminating from the top of the winged flower.

Each element of this tattoo is highly significant for me and while it's just another (albeit lovely) tattoo on the ankel of a stranger to most people, it is a great summing up of a very difficult reality in my life.


This photo was taken the day after getting the tattoo so it actually looks a bit better now.

The elements and their meaning

Small blue flower: This is the only original tattoo I got with my sister and it was only redone to make the color fresh and the lines distinct again. The smallness represents me as the younger sister and blue was/is a representation of my personality.

Large red flower: This is a replica of Melanie's tattoo that we got together. It is just like mine in shape. The larger size indicates that she was the older sister and the red represents her passionate, tormented nature. This was on her back, near her right shoulder.

The wings: They seem obvious (she's dead and therefore, floating somewhere in the heavens, blah blah blah...), but more than just that they represent her newfound freedom. Melanie was an addict most of her life and I feel she is free for the first time now. Her wings are her release and are a natural part of her--also that is why they are not white or angelic looking.

The direction of her flight: She is flying away from me and this world. The direction is evident by the size of the far wing--it is smaller as it is further in the distance and leading the movement in the opposite direction.

Those are all the intentional elements. I'm sure you're thinking, "that's a lot to say about a pretty straight-forward looking tattoo," and you're probably right, but that's what makes it poignant for me instead of everyone else.
Getting the tattoo made me very nervous and I'm not sure why. I've had two before, so I knew what to expect. Mel will have to explain that to me one day.

I'm so glad I've done this for her. I only wish she could have seen it, but then it wouldn't have made any sense. :)