If you’ve never loved someone so much that you feared that you actually loved them too much—then you haven’t fully lived yet. That kind of love is terrifying but can only be given by choice. There’s no doubt that life is easier without caring about someone else (someone you can’t control) that much, but the pain of this kind of love makes you realize some big things about the world. My eyes have been opened by a boy of only 2 feet and 5 inches tall.
I wish I could say that I grasped the love of God my whole life and that I have called myself a Christian for all the right reasons, but that simply wouldn’t be true. I became a Christian in an emotionally charged and somewhat manipulated moment at church camp—a mass salvation. I don’t even know how old I was. I used to resent that set-up, and perhaps I still do a bit. The fact is that since that moment, I’ve been enduring someone else’s idea of faith. Through all the confusion and indifference, I know God knew the right way to orchestrate my coming understanding of His love and what He wants from me.
Just as it took the birth of a child to change the world, it took a child to change my resentment into understanding. Parental love is intense—one part emotional, one part biological. Whatever the recipe, it is the only time I’ve ever experienced true Agape (unconditional) love. Unconditional love is scary and for most people, a myth. This kind of love changes you—it makes you stronger, more confident and less self aware. It’s the medicine I’ve needed my whole life.
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