“So, what do you do?”

I hate that question.

I aim to disappoint. My life is relatively uninteresting. I say this with a “I realize this fact about myself and accept it for the time being” kind of tone. See, I’m not what you’d call a big “go-getter.” I will get all ambitious when it suits me, but that generally only applies to my personal life, not my professional one. In short, my career is fairly nonexistent and I have only myself and my stupid need to make money to blame. When a decent paying job is offered to me, I take it without much regard for the impact said job will have on my career. As a result, I have been a highly paid administrative nobody since graduating from college. And no, you don’t really have to go to college to become an administrative nobody.

Unfortunately, the biggest problem with being an administrative nobody is that, in the end, you are terribly unimportant and easy to replace. That being said, when I became pregnant, my boss told me that I was terribly unimportant and now easy to replace… in so many words. Actually his exact words were, “this baby is really inconvenient for us. Toddles.”

What’s the lesson here? Oh, there are so many. 1. Never work for a man who is old enough to be your grandfather. You’ll be forced to work by his interpretation of a 1950s work ethic. 2. Never work for an office/company that employs less than 15 people (see the Civil Right Amendment poster in your break room at work). 3. Never sell your creative soul for a bigger pay check. Your muse will only torment you.

What are my plans for the future? Well darlings, I really don’t know. My personal life being what it is, I confess that I feel a tad overwhelmed and of course excited. The prospect of figuring out how to start over professionally doesn’t rank that highly at the moment. Ask me again in about three months, okay? All I do know at this point is that I’ll never be some secretary or administrative nobody again. I’m putting that out there into this great abysmal internet so the guardians of the WWW can hold me to that statement.

Wish me luck!