Do You Know What It Means?

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans
I miss it both night and day
I know that it's wrong... this feeling's gettin' stronger
The longer, I stay away
Miss them moss covered vines...the tall sugar pines
Where mockin' birds used to sing
And I'd like to see that lazy Mississippi...hurryin' into spring
The moonlight on the bayou.......a Creole tune.... that fills the airI dream... of Magnolias in bloom...and soon I'm wishin'that you were there
Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans
And that's where I left my heart

Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans by Louis Armstrong
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Yes, Louis. I do know what it means.

Even the idea of the New Orleans inspires a profound sense of loss within me. New Orleans was the purveyor of so many special experiences for me—my first strawberry daiquiri, the first time my husband told me he loved me in the middle of Jackson Square, my first wedding crash, my first win at a gambling table, and a few other wonderfully seedy, but pleasant experiences I won’t go into here.

Every once in a while I feel the call of other places on my spirit. Often I feel the call of home—South Africa has a distinct and powerful pull over her children. And sometimes the need to see places I’ve never witnessed is so overwhelming that I can barely breathe—lately it’s been Germany, Italy and Switzerland. For the past month, however, the humid, spicy spirit of New Orleans has sung its sad song to me. Many times, I’ve caught myself daydreaming about searching for airfare quotes to the Big Easy (always my first step towards an imminent trip); only to realize that the city I’ve come to both fear and love is no more. All those once in a lifetime experiences can never really be relived.

When Louis Armstrong first sang that song, do you think he ever imagined a day when just missing New Orleans because he couldn’t get there just then would be a fond memory? Today, the lazy Mississippi he spoke of has seemingly changed directions, those Creole tunes are sadly silent, and those ancient Magnolia trees are broken and splintered.

When New Orleans is resurrected, and I’m sure it will be, will it simply be a modern concrete homage or a Disneyland version of the thick aired, fragrant New Orleans of days past? Will the beignets ever taste quite the same in a rebuilt Café Du Monde? Call me pessimistic, but somehow I don’t think anything will ever be quite the same. Maybe that’ll be a good thing, so for me, a sense of privilege now dwells with those memories. In my mind, New Orleans isn’t just a city that met destruction—the moonlight on the bayou, those Creole tunes, those crawfish etouffee and magnolia smells conjure actual moments for me. Moments I’ll never forget, in a city I’ll never forget.